1. What is Barney’s favorite day of the year?
His favorite day of the year is February 13th.
2. What name does Barney give to February 13th?
He names it Desparation Day.
3. Thousands of years ago, why did Saint Valentine perform secret weddings on February 14th?
Saint Valentine performed secret weddings because it was illegal to get married under Roman law.
4. What would happen to Saint Valentine if he was caught performing weddings by Roman officials?
If he was caught performing weddings he would be killed.
5. According to Barney, who was Saint Valentine’s best friend?
Saint Valentine’s best friend was Saint Desperatius.
6. According to Barney, what does Saint Desperatius do on February 13th?
Saint Desperatius would pick up desperate (sad) bridesmaids at the weddings being performed by Saint Valentine.
7. In line 8, what does ‘Her body is perfect X.’ mean?
It means she has an amazing body. If you were to give her a score out of 10points, she would get 10/10.
8. According to Barney, what does every woman want on Valentine’s Day?
He believes every woman wants a date for Valentine’s Day.
9. According to Barney, how do women feel on February 13th if they do not have a date for Valentine’s Day?
He believes even if a very beautiful woman does not have a date for Valentine’s Day, she will then feel like sad and therefore more willing to accept a date from a man she would normally not want to date.
Title: Desperation Day
1. Barney: Loneliness. The looming spectre of Valentine's Day fast approaching. The two key ingredients to my favourite day of the year, February 13: Desperation Day.
2. Robin: That’s not a thing.
3. Barney: It’s a thing. Much like Valentine’s Day itself, Desperation Day dates back thousands of years. Weddings were forbidden under ancient Roman law, so Saint Valentine performed them in secret, under threat of death.
4. Ted: That’s actually true.
5. Barney: Wait, there’s more
6. Ted: This won’t
7. Barney: And right by Saint Valentine’s side was his best bro, Saint Desperatius, there to pick up insecure bridesmaids.
8. Saint Desperatius: Whoa. Check out that one. Her body is perfect X.
9. Saint Valentine: Player, play on. High V.
10. Woman: Oh, Jupiter, what are your plans for me? 15 and still unmarried.
11. Saint Desperatius: And I thought Pompeii was smokin’.
12. Barney: Every woman wants a date on Valentine’s Day. That neediness reaches its climax. What up…on February 13. A magical night when a ten has the self-esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a two.
Topic Speaking: Valentine’s, Dating
1. Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day in your country?
2. What other holiday’s or events do you celebrate that is similar to Valentine’s Day?
3. What do you like to do when you go on a date?
4. Have you ever asked someone on a date?
5. Have you ever been stood up?
6. What is the best way, or where is the best place, to meet new people?
7. How has SNS affected the way people celebrate holidays like Valentine’s Day?
8. Have you ever been on a horrible date?
9. What are some common gifts people give on Valentine’s Day or a similar holiday?
10. What are the pros and cons of Valentine’s Day or a similar holiday?
ESL Topic: Valentine’s, Dating
File Title: Desperation Day
File Code: V44